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N2K Newsletter


Divorce and the Questions Kids Ask

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Every child will have their own way of reacting and questions they want answering, not least ‘Why?’ – ‘Why our family?’, ‘Why me?’ , ‘Why now?’, ‘Why is this happening?’.
Telling your children that you and their other parent are going your separate ways is likely to be the most significant news you have ever had to break to them.
How they initially outwardly react will have a lot to do with how they have seen you react to major news, but they may not know how to react, so be prepared for uncertainty, confusion and fear.
Questions, questions
As well as all those ‘why?’ questions, others you will be asked may include:
Is this my fault? 
Are you cross with me?
Are you cross with mum/dad? 
Where am I going to live now? 
Where's mum/dad going to live now? 
Where are the rest of us going to live now? 
Can we stay together? 
Will we have to move? 
Will we have to change schools? 
Where will all my things go? 
Can I tell my friends? 
What can/should I tell my friends?
Doesn’t mum/dad love me anymore?
How to answer
It may sound obvious but all of the above questions can be answered truthfully with love and understanding. As I said earlier, it’s important to meet their questions head on and not avoid telling them what’s going to happen now.
Extract taken from Divorce and Separation – The Essential Guide. For more information on the questions kids will ask about divorce and how to help them cope, take a look at the book.

Every child will have their own way of reacting and questions they want answering, not least ‘Why?’ – ‘Why our family?’, ‘Why me?’ , ‘Why now?’, ‘Why is this happening?’.

divorce-and-questions-kids-ask.jpg

Telling your children that you and their other parent are going your separate ways is likely to be the most significant news you have ever had to break to them.

How they initially outwardly react will have a lot to do with how they have seen you react to major news, but they may not know how to react, so be prepared for uncertainty, confusion and fear.

Questions, questions

As well as all those ‘why?’ questions, others you will be asked may include:

  • Is this my fault? 
  • Are you cross with me?
  • Are you cross with mum/dad? 
  • Where am I going to live now? 
  • Where's mum/dad going to live now? 
  • Where are the rest of us going to live now? 
  • Can we stay together? 
  • Will we have to move? 
  • Will we have to change schools? 
  • Where will all my things go? 
  • Can I tell my friends? 
  • What can/should I tell my friends?
  • Doesn’t mum/dad love me anymore?

How to answer

It may sound obvious but all of the above questions can be answered truthfully with love and understanding. As I said earlier, it’s important to meet their questions head on and not avoid telling them what’s going to happen now.

Extract taken from Divorce and Separation - The Essential Guide. For more information on divorce and the questions kids ask, take a look at the book - available now in eBook, printed book and large print formats. Buy the printed version and get the eBook free!